The Mysterious Ken

Imagine, if you will: The small town of Ann Arbor, Michigan, in the summer of 1965. Rain clouds which had been prominent for days were finally moving off to the east. Sunshine was sure to finally peek though and warm and dry the town. Two West Side neighbor boys, eight-year-old Jeff and my eleven year-old-self were finally released from their homes to play outside after four days of uninterrupted rainy weather. It was was some time after eight in the morning. Most adults, including our parents, were at work. We were bored already, as there was not much to do with all the puddles and mud. But it was better than being at home. My older brother and sister bullied me. I didn't like being at home.

The near west side of Ann Arbor was not the yuppie haven in 1965 it is now. The houses were old and looked it. The streets were tar and gravel compilations. The yards were small and not particularly well kept. Jeff and I were playing on Third Street, trying to see how big a splash in a large puddle we could make with whatever rocks and pieces of concrete we could find. We were bored, indeed!

A man from a house across the street from our puddle fun walked right up to us.

With his head cocked to the right and funny smirk on his face, he said, "Is this all you boys have to do today?"

In 1965, kids did not stand up to adults in the ways they often do today. We weren't sure how to respond. Neither of our fathers were men we'd say anything to if we could avoid them, but when we could not, we made sure the conversation went the best way it could to avoid trouble. This man was talking to us and seemed to need an answer.

"Well, sir," I said with practiced deference, "We really don't have anything else to do."

"Got any friends?", the stranger asked.

I was trying to figure out where this was going, how to be respectful and still not ignore the smirk he seemed to be trying subtly to hide. He was no threat. I sensed there was something good natured about him. I didn't always trust my senses, though, not being very human at age eleven. I became even more careful, having learned not to trust adults to be on my side. Somehow this man was different than anyone I'd ever known before. He was more like a teacher, except he was nicer. He didn't seem to have any pretense, nothing to hide besides his smirk which seemed to hide nothing more than an idea.

"Sure we do. We have friends." I was wondering where this was going as his smirk became a full-blown smile.

"I wonder, since you have friends and all, if you could round up enough, with baseball gloves, to meet me at the playground a few blocks from here. The one with the big hill. Do you know it?" He was practically laughing at us.

"I know it. It's called The Big Playground. It's part of our school's playground."

"Well then! Gather up some friends, as many as you can. Have them bring their gloves and whatever else. We'll meet at the playground and play some ball."

Jeff spoke at last, "I don't have a ball glove or anything."

"Don't worry about that, we'll have enough equipment. By the way, my name is Ken," and he reached his hand out to us to shake. Jeff and I were both well mannered enough to shake his hand and tell him our names. As I shook his hand, I finally looked at his face. He was tall, blond with very short hair; not long like many adults his age in Ann Arbor wore. He looked to be around 25-years-old, although I didn't really know how to tell ages well then. To me he was young, but old.

Ken left us standing there as he strode back to the house across the Third Street. He shouted over his shoulder at us, "We'll meet at the park at 1:00. Will that give you two enough time to get your friends together?"

I looked at Jeff. I had no idea where we'd get enough kids to make a baseball group. Most of the other kids on our block were girls. But I shouted, "Sure. We'll get enough kids."

After he went in the house, Jeff looked afraid. He told me he wouldn't be able to go to the park. He wasn't allowed. That left me on my own with a few hours to find some kids to play ball. I didn't want Ken to think I didn't have many friends. I wanted to impress him if I could.

I went all over the neighborhood, as far as Seventh and Washington to Willard's house. He wasn't a friend because he was a little older and kind of mean, but he'd do. I knew he liked to play ball. I went to Colin's house. He was pretty overweight and didn't play outside much because he was teased so much, but I needed bodies. I went all the way to Almendinger Park, stopping at every house I knew had a boy at our school old enough to catch a ball and hold a bat. I finally rounded up eleven kids who agreed to come to the park, including the big Cebulski brothers who lived right by The Big Playground.

Most  of the kids didn't have any equipment, but I was looking for kids, not ball players. I was worried they wouldn't really come to the park since we weren't really friends. We were more like acquaintances who went to school together. They didn't really know me, nor I them.

We all met at the park, coming from different directions. The sun was in full splendor, just as promised, and the sandy ball diamond was already heating up. Ken came to the park, driving down the pavement that led from Liberty Street, and parked his van behind the backstop. He looked at me, and then looked at the other ten kids of all ages sizes and colors.

"Terry, you do have a lot of friends! This will be fun!" The sun seemed to make me warm inside as well as out. I was excited to see what was going to happen.

He opened the doors of his van and had us take ball gloves and bats from the back. He had several of each. He also had a bag with softballs in it. I'd never had much use for softballs before. They were big and besides, I only played baseball, not softball.

I must had said something about the balls because Ken said, "These are easier to hit. And that's what we're going to focus on today. All of you take the field. Just go anywhere. Except you, Terry. You're batting first."

I was nervous. I wanted to impress him. I was a pretty good hitter on my Little League team, but this seemed different. He took the pitcher's mound and lobbed the balls underhanded. I hit a few, missed a few, and he encouraged me to try different stances, to get really comfortable. I was imitating my favorite pro ball players, not being me. Once I got comfortable in my stance, I started hitting the ball with more regularity.

I don't remember much else about that day except two things that really struck me. The first was that Ken noticed Colin wanted to be the catcher all the time. Colin was a slow runner and didn't want to be in the field. Ken coaxed him to play first base a little. Ken had a gentle demeanor that matched Colin's shyness and fear of trying new things. Willard tried to tease Colin, but whenever he did, Ken asked Willard what he would do differently if he were Colin. When Colin had trouble hitting the ball at first, Willard made some comment. Ken made sure Willard was next. But rather than making Willard look bad, he used Willard's ability to coach Colin. He showed Willard how to teach Colin to hit. It wasn't long on that first day that Colin was using his size to his advantage, hitting the ball so far, we had to really hustle to get the ball in before he made it around the bases, even with his slow trot. Ken never chastised Willard, just showed him he could be an example of what to do. I don't remember Willard ever teasing again.

The second thing I remember was that after we'd played for a few hours and kids starting going home, Ken said to everyone, "Can we play again tomorrow, maybe with more kids?" We all said we would try to get others for the next day.

And the next day we played again. Ken brought the gear and we added more kids. Ken worked with each of us on fielding as new kids learned to hit. He taught us how to catch ground balls, how to make pivots for double plays, and how to use what we already could do best to our advantage. I watched Ken closely that second day, seeing how calm and patient he was with each player, no matter their strengths and weaknesses. He never made the instruction about him, never took a turn at bat or in the field. He was making sure we were improving. He instructed using other kids as examples as he'd done with Willard the day previous. Pretty soon, we were all teaching as well as learning. Ken was always positive and kind. He was so different to me from my understanding of what a man should be.

We played for hours. Then another car came down the paved ramp from Liberty Street. A woman got out of the car. It was Ken's wife. She brought Kool-Aid to drink and apples and oranges to eat. We all took a break and enjoyed quenching our thirsts and having a snack. Ken was so pleased with his wife. I got the feeling he didn't know she was coming. Ken was enjoying the treat as much as the rest of us. He must have thanked his wife fifty times for bring us the drinks and food. She seemed so happy to help, so happy to be there with us. They seemed so easy together, like people on television rather than the adults I knew.

After Ken's wife left, we played another hour. Ken told us he would like to meet us the next day.

That day, we played a modified game. Ken would stop us in the middle of a play and help us learn what to do. We learned about strategy, about when to take an extra base, and when to be thinking about alternatives in the field, such as hitting the cut-off and communicating to each other as we made choices during a play. We learned about bunting, covering the bases in special situations, and more. Again Ken had those who already knew teach those of us who did not. We really came to like each other, to appreciate each other. Colin showed us how to use our weight to get more power in our swings as he learned how himself. Everyone contributed.

We were all excited about the fourth day as we knew we were ready to play a game for real. We had enough players now to field two teams if we shared catchers and pitchers, meaning each team would both catch and pitch when their team was at bat. The field was so much louder now as people were encouraging each other, helping each other remember what to do as situations evolved during the game. A short time after we began, Ken told us he had to leave, but we were welcome to use the equipment he brought as long as I returned it to his porch at his house at the end of the day.

We played for hours! Just the kids, playing and helping each other and learning more as we went along. At the end of the day, some of the players helped me take the bats, gloves and ball bag to Ken's porch. He was home and thanked us for bringing back the gear and following through as we said we would.

Ken joined us one more time. He came to the park, got us started, and left again with the same provision that I bring the equipment to his porch.

We did. But when we got there, there was no one home. We left the stuff on the porch.

The next day, I went to Ken's house to see if he was joining us. The equipment was right where I'd left it. I rang the bell but no one answered. I looked in the front window. The house was empty. No furniture, no cars in the driveway, no signs that anyone lived there.

We never saw Ken again. I remember feeling so empty, as though I'd lost a best friend. I think the others felt the same way. They kept asking me to check the house, to find out what happened. After all, Ken was my friend. I tried, but I never found out where he went or what happened. He and his wife had vanished.

We played ball that whole summer and the next. I continued to round up kids from the neighborhood to get more players (no experience necessary). Nearly everyday I checked the house on Third Street across from Jeff's house and that drive way where the puddle was. He never came back. We used the equipment, eventually parcelling it out to kids who needed it.

I made it my mission to keep the group playing ball. It wasn't so much that I wanted them to have fun and learn. It was to have a place to go that was safe and fun for me.

Ken left us such a legacy. We played together, teaching new kids along the way. We learned how to help each other. A few years later I began playing baseball during summer days at Almendinger Park with older kids. Some of The Big Playground kids also joined in. We weren't accepted by the older kids right away. One had only one arm. One had a poorly repaired cleft palate. They teased each other in what seemed like cruel ways. We all played together bringing Ken's wisdom, asking the older kids to help us learn. Eventually they got it. They saw they could teach, they could learn. We all became leaders. The teasing stopped as we all learned to appreciate each other: Ken's legacy.

The Big Playground is still there off of Fifth Street between Jefferson and Liberty. I wonder if kids still play ball there in the summers?

As an adult, I coached baseball and hockey. I tried to use Ken's way to teach, but was never as good at it as he was. The older I get, the more I understand about leading by letting, leading by showing examples. I found in that summer with Ken that I could be a leader just by getting others to share a purpose, to learn to lead at what they do best, to help each other.

Nearly fifty years have gone by, but every summer after a few days of rain, I think of Jeff and that puddle. I think of Ken and his gentle way of teaching. I reflect on what he taught me and how he helped me become more human. He let me lead, as he let everyone lead. We all saw new potential in ourselves and each other.

A Brief Introduction

My children asked me to put together some of the stories of my life. I will try to tell them as best I can, given that I am not a writer nor a wit. I am getting older now. And I think I am almost human at last. During my childhood I was fortunate to have many people influence me to become more than I thought I could. My upbringing left some large holes that interactions with other adults filled. I will try to credit those people in this blog. I will promise that everything I write will be exactly what happened...except for the parts I make up.

Memories are sometimes sour, sometimes delicious, and always somewhat suspect. They are, after all, snippets of interpretation: condensed, as a can of Campbell's Soup. As I try to reconstitute the memories, some parts may be less than the original, with fewer vitamins and minerals. I'll try not to add too much salt or other ingredients, no matter how much better they might make the story. I am who I am because of the help I was fortunate to find throughout my life. But this blog is the story of those people more than the story of me.

The first entry is the story of Ken, last name unknown. In fact, so little is known about Ken the story may be a bit creepy. But he changed my life; he showed me I could be a leader.